The First Boy I Ever Kissed (The First Boy #1) [Tommy & Kim] by Suki Fleet

I simply ADORE Suki's writing. There is something so genuine in the way her characters view the world but mostly their special person. Tommy and Kim, like many of their characters come from a difficult background and yet there is still innocence and wonder to everything they share. Life might have tainted them in certain aspects but luckily not all. 

In the year and a half they knew each other, Kim and Tommy became fast friends and nearly a bit more. But though Kim knew exactly what he was feeling towards Tommy, Tommy was still uncertain about his sexuality or willing to explore this side of him. They share one kiss on the night of their highschool's prom before Kim disappears from Tommy's world leaving both guys with a longing they can't shake. 

Sometimes There's Stars by Suki Fleet

I need to be ready mentally before I start Suki's books. While they are always heartfelt on the romantic side, the life situation is almost always horrific. This one was no different, at least for Echo. The sorrow, helplessness and general despair killed me. But with someone as sunny as Peri on his side things started to look up for him, or at least made him hope and wish for a better present and maybe even future. It wasn't an easy journey I can tell you that!

Echo (Ezekiel Bashir) didn't have an easy life growing up with just his mother Marsha but they loved each other with all their hearts and mostly it was enough even if they were poor and struggling. After Marsha died Echo totally lost himself and not only because he became indebted to the local loan shark. When he wasn't able to pay his new "employer" paid it for him and thus he became his errand boy and considering One-Eyed Frank's business (you can guess) things weren't exactly getting better. Then one day on his way to meet another one of Frank's clients he meets Peri and though the whole situation is not exactly a bright one considering Peri gets hit by a car and later on Echo is attacked himself that's the exact mark things change for both Peri and Echo.

Fight for This (For This #1) [Grey & Si] by Suki Fleet

WOW, there was A LOT going on in this one, especially nearing the end where the action and doomsday feel was all over the place. I gotta say I really liked it and can't wait for the next installment. The world building was pretty easy to ease into with more and more information sprinkled in especially when not everything that was going on was clear even to our MCs. Later on, nearing the end, we got more in a bigger chunk I'll guess will be better explained in the next one.

Grey Matthews and Simon Peveril work at the same school. Grey is a teacher and the much younger Simon (or Si as most call him) is a teaching assistant. There is something different not only about their school and how guarded it is, but also about it's inhabitants. Teachers, staff and kids are not exactly what they seem. To outsiders for sure but also to one another. It's actually unclear how many of them have the gift of magic when Headmaster Greene - a High Elf - keeps all these details to himself.

Si is a Fairy, or part Fairy at least. He has magical abilities but his aura and power is pretty messed up. Basically it NEVER does what he wants or expects it to do but it's not like he has many opportunities to actually use his power.. Grey on the other hand is considered "Nomic", meaning a non-magical entity. He can channel A LOT of power from the earth around him but he himself has no magic of his own, putting him lower on the "magical food chain". Not that it matters to him.. He would rather not use his power for a different reason.. The one time he abused it he found himself in jail - he got his lesson for sure.

Everything in the Place by Suki Fleet

Well, that's no surprise - I ADORED this short novella by Suki. It was recently published in an Anthology ("Hot Summer Nights") and somehow I totally missed it while it was available so I'm happy I got it now on it's own. Alfie and Benji are THE cutest. We mostly get Alfie's POV and through him I promise you what we need in life is our own Benji. It doesn't have to be THIS Benji, and anyway, he totally belongs to Alfie.. But getting to be with our best friend who gets us and understand us - as I see it - it the best treasure to be had in life. And it's not like Benji didn't get his own prize with Alfie being the one who saw him. Really saw him through all of their childhood into adulthood. I think that's the most basic thing we all need (as well) - for someone to see who we really are and appreciate and love us just as we are.

All these words with nothing about the actual plot.. That's me totally and absolutely swooning over these two sweet-things!

Foxes by Suki Fleet

Heart breakingly beautiful. I was torn to pieces reading this one, but I NEVER wanted to stop and though I wanted it to end - for Danny and Micky to find their own plan to a "Happily Ever After" - in a way I didn't want that at all. I could listen to Danny's thoughts forever. To the way he sees the world, his compassion and care for everyone around him, the deserving and ones you'd think aren't that much yet Danny would find it in his big heart to not only forgive but truly give a person the chance no one ever gave before.

I've already raved about Suki's writing but I don't think repeating that would do any harm ;) I LOVE her writing because it's so raw. Life is HARD in Suki's books. Sometimes I feel like the whole book will swallow me in despair and then she brings out these beautiful flawed humans, with a childish naive heart who makes you feel their goodness so deep inside. Life is not about what you have materially, it's about who YOU ARE to yourself but also towards others. I think there are many lessons to be learned about humanity and humility in her books.

"Safety and warmth. What else do people need? Maybe a little food, clean water. A friend? I don't know. You've got to accept what you've got sometimes, I think"

For Sam, times infinity by Suki Fleet

~sigh~ Beautiful. If you haven't read anything by Suki it's simply a must. There is something raw in her writing there is no way I'll be able to explain. But if you've read one of her books you'll know what I'm talking about. This feeling in your stomach he/they have been SO wronged and yet he/they are still here, trying, struggling, looking for a glimpse of happiness wherever it could be found. The is no fame and riches, no Prince or Princess, there isn't even a true promise of the kind of fairy-tale Happily Ever After, it's all about finding what's truly important in life - love, connection - and with those in hand finding their own happiness. It's so simply and exactly because of that - genuine. Money and fame won't ever make anyone happy but what Suki offers her characters will, even if their lives aren't "picture perfect" it's enough. It's a true lesson in humility.

This story is told from both our MCs - Sam and Evra, working together in a Balloon factory they somehow attract one another. Two quiet shy guys who wish for a little bit more than the simple life they are currently living - even if it seems impossible they'll be able to keep it. For Sam it's because he doesn't plan on staying for long and for Evra, well, you'll have to read this one to get his story... I won't spoiler it.

Innocence by Suki Fleet

It's hard for me to actually write it but it's my truth so I gotta - I didn't like this book AT ALL. It was all over the place with Christopher running around in circles, in his head but also in real life. It FELT like the YA I stay clear of and frankly I don't get what a 29 years old guy would find in someone 10 years younger. Their whole relationship was BEYOND strange. Not to mention with the book finished I still don't think I know anything about Malachi besides he's a mechanic who loves to play and sing music (there's also a dark secret, but it's a spoiler-free-zone here so I'll let you figure it out..).

This is Christopher Grey's story for sure. We follow him around as he tries to find a place in this world he can call his own. He have been living with his dad and younger brother on a boat all of his life. When he was 5 years old, the 3 years old Jay got burned by accident which consequent in their mother leaving for good. Doesn't sound like the exemplary mother, does she? and their father isn't that much better even if he have been taking care of them since then. it's not black and white I guess.. he is who he is, and he's doing what he thinks is the right thing even if his reasoning aren't the best.  Jay is the focus of Christopher's life, he would do right around anything for him, he is his number one priority even if the one thing he craves - finding their mother - is not something Christopher is mad about. He doesn't feel there's a point and also where to start?

Wildflowers by Suki Fleet

We learn to appreciate what we truly want only when it's practically gone - and then what? What do we do when we realized we made a HUGE mistake and now time is running short? How do we love without the fear of losing? Losing the one we love and ourselves. Xavi doesn't know and neither do I. This was a sweet yet sad story about waiting a bit too long to appreciate love.

It's quite a short novella but I think what we can take from it is LIVE. Live in the now and say what we want to say. Sitting in silence the way Xavi and Sam did for most of their time together only cost both of them pain. They've met 4 years ago when they lived in the same commune. Sam was already living there though hated by most of the others and when Xavi came with his boyfriend. It was an open relationship but it was still hard for Xavi to act upon his growing emotions towards the sweet Sam. It's more than attraction between them, what they share together means more to Xavi than he can deal with when he already has a boyfriend he is suppose to be in love with. Which is part of the reason they leave (not surprisingly their relationship doesn't last long after).

Te quiero (Falling for You #1) [Ally & Levi] by Suki Fleet

This short novella was THE SWEETEST THING! I've read Suki referred to this one as the fluffiest novella she have ever written - and it is! But that's a good thing! :) Ally and Levi's story was warm and fuzzy even if Ally wasn't at his best. It was a chance for a HEA when things were looking down which actually made this short novella so much more than just two guys learning they share and want more than each of them realized.

Ally is devastated. His ex posted a bunch of NAKED photos of him on multiple porn sites. What would he do now? It's more than feeling naked it's being abused as well. Since his laptop crashed last week he sits in the physics lab hoping he can somehow make the photos go away but though he wrote the sites, they haven't gotten back to him and to top it all Levi just came into the lab asking what he's doing there (since he left the department a while back). Not knowing what to do he antagonizes Levi before he simply disappears leaving behind a short unfinished love letter in Spanish (Ally's mother tongue).

Wild Summer (Love Story Universe, #1.5) [Crash & Summer] by Suki Fleet

I enjoyed this book though it felt very different from the previous one. For once I wished this story would have been a little bit MORE, mostly more of Christopher (Crash) and Summer as they first met. I wished they had more time together, it would have been easier for me to understand the hold they had on each other for the 4 years they were apart.

We've met Crash in the previous installment and when we start this one it's already about a year (I would guess) after Romeo and Julian found their place in Cornwall. Though Romeo chose to have a different life than Crash did when arriving at the same foster home, they become fast friends and now Crash is spending the time with both of them trying to deal with what seeing Summer again, 4 years after their downfall, have done to him.

This Is Not a Love Story (Love Story Universe, #1) [Romeo & Julian] by Suki Fleet

The tears haven't even dried yet but I feel somehow I have to write my feelings now before my mundane life snatches the storm of emotions I have right now. This book was so heart breakingly beautiful. It was a HORRIBLE ride of cold, wet and heartless London with kids who should have had a home and yet they don't. On their own, trying to live with barely hope they can survive the next night. This is not a love story, yet it is. Romeo and Julian means the WORLD to one another, but the world needs to give them a break so they can actually build a life together. One that promises more than hungry, sick, penniless roaming the streets.

The whole story is told from Romeo Danilov's POV. He is 15 years old, living on the street after being left by his mother. He has nothing and no one until Julian Lavelle jumps to his rescue from tugs who enjoyed tormenting a mute who can't even scream for help. From that moment Romeo and Julian become almost inseparable. Yet there is very little they can actually DO to survive which is why Julian keeps selling his body to buy them food and a little shelter from the cold. They have a friend in the owner of a cafe - Cassey. She helps as best as she can, but she too has her limits. They also have Gem - Julian's friend but she too has her own problems to deal with. They can barely make it, truly, but together they find little glimpses of light mostly in each other.

Light Up the Dark by Suki Fleet

Though the title offers to light up the dark, it offers us SO MUCH darkness to endure before hand. Nicky's story is more than heart breaking. Maybe because he isn't the only one and the horror of everything keeps unfolding and becoming even more terrifying with every detail unraveling. I could feel the darkness swallowing Nicky but as Cai (and also Soph and Loz) started to become a permanent part of Nicky's life things started to shift little by little until they banished the darkness and offered him ever lasting light. His past will always be a part of him, and I'll expect him to be in therapy for YEARS but with them by his side he more than have a chance for true happiness.

The story starts with the night that changed Nicky's life from a careless guy who loved dancing to a little mouse living in a house with a strange man who promised to keep him safe. Yet he somehow also kept Nicky inside, afraid to even open the door. Staying in the shadows of this neglected house in the middle of nowhere. After two weeks of being all along after he founds his keeper dead, his only resolve is to make a little bit of the darkness disappear. He won't venture outside but he can pay for someone to take down the over grown vegetation and offer a bit of light into his eternal darkness. He didn't expect Cai - hard working yet knowing nothing about gardening.. 

Falling Suki Fleet

Another beautifully written book by Suki. Like the previous one, it's not a light read AT ALL. It deals with difficult issues of mental health yet it does it in a very tender sweet way. Being inside Josh's head (our only POV) wasn't easy with how cloudy his life and mind is, but I think it's a crucial experience to us as readers to understand his world. What he is going through and WHY it's so difficult for him. He is the sweetest guy, loving and warm even if he looked and at times behaves like the opposite. He is just not sure how to express what he is feeling or know how to manage all these confusing emotions. Angus is a good example. Everything about him speaks and screams to Josh, but he is afraid of acting upon it and being swallowed and overwhelmed by his feelings for him.

After dealing with depression for years, and being hospitalized for it as well, Josh finds his place in a small apartment forming a brave and sweet friendship with his neighbor Eleanor. Eleanor brought him out of his shell, taught him how to manage life and became a close friend throughout years of solitude. He has his job in a shoe store, but his life is mostly about being alone in his apartment.  When Eleanor's 18 years old son Angus comes to stay with her things start to change. Eleanor might have helped Josh with his fears yet she has her own demons. She is dealing with Agoraphobia and Anxiety disorder which are crippling her and it's only getting worse. They are also affecting her son Angus who isn't sure how to deal with her symptoms.

The Glass House by Suki Fleet

This one was extremely RAW and heart breaking and yet it had so much hope beneath and above each line. Sasha had a pretty awful life and he might be getting a sort of a break the past 9 months living with his sister Corrine, but it's not that simple for neither of them to connect and understand what each need in general and especially from one another. The sunshine in this book was without a doubt Thomas. One not very bright day he appeared on Sasha's side and it seemed he is going to stay even if Sasha has no idea why.

This short book is all about friendship and love, compassion, understanding. The very basics every one of us needs to survive. Without Thomas, Sasha felt he had nothing at all. He could forget himself sculpting beautiful statues made of broken glass but once his work is done he has nothing in his life but emptiness and pain. He might be 17 years old but he felt 100. Weary of life and disappointments, feeling there is no hope for anything better for him not now and not in the future.

Metronomy by Suki Fleet

We start this short novella with our main hero standing on the gallows, ready to be hanged, hoping Hunter will save him. From there, the action starts up until almost the ending, making this short novella impossible to put down. Yeah it's extremely short as it is, yet it was so compelling! 

Lima Oscar Victor Echo and The Truth About Everything by Suki Fleet

I decided to add this one by Suki and another shorter one (I"m going to start reading as soon as I"m finished with this review) after reading her short story in "Wish Come True" Anthology earlier this month. Originally I had more full novels but with moving out, moving in, unpacking and all of that I decided to change up a bit and add short reads I won't feel overly committed to. I'm SO happy I added this one now because Suki's published work is too damn long that I'm not sure when I"ll get around to it, but now that I've read another one by her, I'll do my best to add more ASAP (though that too might take time..).
So what am I saying here? pretty obvious - I LOVED IT! 

I"m stupid that way that without spelling it out for me, I didn't get that Lima Oscar Victor Echo means LOVE. I was waiting for Echo, Lima and Victor to put an entrance hehe (well, at least at the beginning! :D)

Wish Come True by Keira Andrews, Joanna Chambers, Amy Jo Cousins, Megan Erickson, Suki Fleet, Kaje Harper & Anyta Sunday

This is a holiday anthology I was really excited to read. First it contains a novella by Joanna Chambers - no doubt it means it's a MUST read, then I realized it also has novellas by Amy Jo Cousins and Megan Erickson! Yeah, I clicked on the buy button without thinking more about it. I recently read a short story by Kaje Harper I really enjoyed and planned on reading more by her so I was happy about that as well. I haven't read anything by the other authors and so it's a good opportunity to sample more "new" (=to me) authors.  

Another reason to grab this anthology is its worthy cause! The proceedings will be donated to "Lost-N-Found" youth - a nonprofit corporation whose mission is to take LGBTQ youths off the streets into permanent housings.