I've already raved about Suki's writing but I don't think repeating that would do any harm ;) I LOVE her writing because it's so raw. Life is HARD in Suki's books. Sometimes I feel like the whole book will swallow me in despair and then she brings out these beautiful flawed humans, with a childish naive heart who makes you feel their goodness so deep inside. Life is not about what you have materially, it's about who YOU ARE to yourself but also towards others. I think there are many lessons to be learned about humanity and humility in her books.
"Safety and warmth. What else do people need? Maybe a little food, clean water. A friend? I don't know. You've got to accept what you've got sometimes, I think"
See what I mean? It's simple, it's profound and it's the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. There is something to be said about who you are (or aren't) as a person. I was listening to a podcast this morning talking about confidence, self worth and self love. I think in the end the only thing that matters if you truly want all of that is to know who you are from the inside. A homeless kid who never found his place in the world already knows what so many people hasn't figured out yet.
"The stuff you feel deeply about yourself isn't stuff other people can change your mind about by disagreeing with you"
I could probably keep on quoting Danny Blake, our main hero and sole POV. But I'll actually move on to tell you about him and how he found the only person he feels like he could share his life with, even if he basically have nothing to offer but his company.
When Danny sees Micky for the first time his heart flutters. He isn't sure what to do about it expect for him usual behavior of hiding behind his hair and not looking him (or anyone really) in the eyes. He had a beautiful connection with his best friend Dashiel but he is gone so all he is left with is his notes about the "Sharks" people on the streets should stay away from, his little haven in an abandoned pool, his "work" fixing phones and a sort of roommate in Milo the veteran.
Danny never had a real human connection besides Dashiel which is why he is looking for these "Sharks", people who pray on the young defenseless homeless people who are Danny's kin, even if he doesn't know all of them and would rather not speak to most of them. But he DOES want to see Micky again and though he promises to fix his phone he somehow breaks it and though he is scared of what Micky would do, somehow giving him his own phone form a shy friendship between them.
Living on the streets means no-one talks about what "have been". He knows Micky is from Arizona (US) because of his accent. But he doesn't know why and how he came to be living on London's cold streets. Yet it doesn't really matter. What matters is he is able to SPEAK with him and actually look him in the eye. He feels vulnerable but he also somehow feels safe and the feeling is totally mutual.
Micky believes in them. While he wants to dream a little bigger than Danny's way of looking only on "right now" his wants are still the most naive and basic ones.
"Danny, listen to me. We've got stuff to figure out, but all I want is to be with you. That's it. Everything else comes after. Everything else I can compromise on. Remember that. And if we have to live like foxes, then we'll live like foxes. I only want to be with you"
But things get complicated when Danny realizes Micky is sick and he isn't getting better. He is getting worse. There comes a time when Danny needs to decide if contacting Benjamin da Silva - the only connection Micky has to his past - is a good idea or the worst. He can't deal with all of this on his own. He has Diana the cafe owner, he has Donna (Dashiel's friend) but in the end it's still his decision to make. But no matter what, it's still HUGE, much bigger than anything he has dealt with and he isn't sure he can actually be any help, not when it's so hard for him to figure his own life. He was fine with offering Micky HIMSELF, but Micky needs more now and he on himself is simply not enough.
Though it's never actually mentioned, it's quite obvious Danny is somewhere on the autistic spectrum, a quite high functioning one. Probably Asperger. His scarred face is another reason for him to keep himself hidden behind his hair most of the time, have very few conversations with people, keep to himself and to his notes. His big mystery is finding who killed Dashiel or even just find out how to save the street dwellers from the "Sharks", but his big mission turns out to be figuring out Dominic.
There is SO MUCH MORE to this book. Mostly there is the story of Dieter who have hated Danny for way too long. He has been dealing with and grieving the lost of Dashiel as well and though anyone else in the world (except for the kind hearted Danny) would condemn the guy, Danny doesn't see a cruel kid, he sees the ache in his heart and it's similarity to his own and through that he is able to show him not anger, not pity but true compassion and through that he makes a difference, a beautiful heart felt one. I wish Suki would write Dieter's story I think he deserves one.
I will leave you with one last quote, but before I'll tell you this - YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK. Frankly it took me a while because it's long and I was afraid my heart won't be able to deal with so much misery and heartache in so many pages, but actually what I found in this book is a young adult with a big heart who I feel like can change the whole world.
"If the streets, a freezing winter, grief, nearly dying, and three thousand miles can't break us, nothing will".
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Rating:
★★★★★ |
E-Book
Edition |
501
pages
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Read on:
7-8 December 2019
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