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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Karma is a bitch?

This is an "off topic" personal kind of post..
I'll just rumbling about a weird thing that happened to me this week..

Sunday the 11th of October I felt sort of "off", I was a bit dizzy and weak and my back started hurting for no reason AT ALL. I haven't worked out for a long time, basically have been studying and reading when possible and nothing to "grant" me the back ache.
On Monday the 12th it became even worse, at work, around noon I could barely concentrate on my work from the pain so I schedule to get a massage the following day.

I don't really like getting a massage. I'm not a fan of that kind of pain.. but actually the guy was really great! and as we were talking about my curious back pain we got to the conclusion it's most possibly my brand new Visco (memory foam) pillow. I've been using it for the past, mmm, I don't know two, maybe three weeks? and while it WAS a bit uncomfortable I thought I just needed to get used to it, or it to me, because it's different.. and also I'll admit to been too damn lazy to bring out the old pillow.

Why am I telling you this silly story? because it could have been ANY day that the pain started, it could have been a week before, or even two days before but it started on the 11th of October and became unbearable on the 12th - 6 years ago, on the night between these exact dates my beloved Blue Great Dane Uli (Eric's mom) died in her sleep.

A year ago I was all ABOUT the pain. I did a huge tattoo of her head on my ribs, and after 16 hours in three sessions it was finished and I felt so close to her, the physical ache mingling with the emotional somehow making it more meaningful.

It's strange how these things happen. For a reason? by "mistake"? or is it fate / karma?
I really don't know. It hurt so much to lose her, the physical pain I endured these past 3 days is really nothing. Maybe it's an agreeable reminder love never truly dies, not when it's so honest.

Uli my love, I miss you. I cherish you in my heart and know we'll someday meet again "over the rainbow".

On my 28th Birthday, 11 days before she died. This photo was taken without my notice and captured our love in the most precious way.

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